You hear Miss America say it, you hear the winner of
American Idol say it, but I never thought I’d hear me say that I never thought
this would ever happen to me. I thought that writing about movies was something
I started to give me an excuse to sing praises about classic movies that not
many people appreciated.
I live two lives, one in the world made of flesh and bones,
and the other in a world made of zeros and ones. In both lives however I love
movies the same. I was planning on reviewing movies for a short while until I
got my foot in the door or got to making movies myself. Now I know that I will
never stop reviewing movies whether I become the next Spielberg, or whether I make
absolutely no movies ever.
These are strong words coming from someone whose blog shows
no evidence of commitment. That is I think my biggest flaw as a critic; I am
not committed to it as much as I should. When I started the blog I could do 10
reviews a week, lately I’m lucky to post one review a month and that’s not just
something that has disappointed readers, it is also something that has made me
less of a person. How am I expected to make feature length films out of scripts
that can go on for over one hundred pages if I can’t even make one single one-page
review per week? “I’ve abandoned my child, I’ve abandoned my child, I’ve
abandoned my boy.”
Even though most people tend to fail their new year’s
resolutions, I still think it’s good to make one because the attempt of trying
to improve yourself already makes you better. I take the movies that inspire me
to help me along the way, and boy was 2013 an interesting year for movies. From
“American Hustle”, to “The Wolf of Wall Street”, to “Pacific Rim” and even “The
Hunger Games: Catching Fire”, I was once again taken on a ride that can only be
truly experienced by those like me who follow the year and its movies closely, and
yet I did nothing to remedy that.
This year my resolution is vague but simple enough for me to
keep. “I will be more committed to my writing”. I feel like making this public
will put more pressure on me but that’s a good thing, if more people are to see
me fail then the bigger my embarrassment will be if I do.
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